So in this video I would just like to take a few moments to explain the difference between monologue
and dialogue because Whilst this may seem overly simplistic for some people I can guarantee you there's
some people who don't get this.
All.
Well so you might understand that there's a very good chance that all of the clients that come your
way for life coaching aren't going to get this in any way whatsoever.
So if you understand this and is going to enable you to communicate and standards and expectations for
how it is that you're needing other people to communicate and interact with you in the context of an
effective life coaching relationship.
So if I was to pin the picture of monologue I know if I was just turby monologuing you right now I would
just be standing here reading off a teleprompter or a script regurgitating some information about you
it's quite relational.
I'm not really interested in whether you understand the information or not.
I just want to get the information across to you that you can then go on to do what you will with it
and believe it or not that's actually home most online courses these days are delivered through people
just getting involved and giving some monologue.
Right if you don't trust me checco to you give me the right.
There are many courses and you do me not all of them some very good courses some very very good ones.
But when it comes to personal development people who especially deliver courses on their life coaching
or of some of these other topics literally hide behind a screen read over textbook and just regurgitate
information.
All right there are some absolutely brutal courses over there but don't believe me check it out and
have a look for yourself.
What I'm seeing here is this is a difference between monologue and dialogue.
If you're still with me you still partaking in this course on this online training experience.
Then you might feel up points like I've kind of been in the room with you and what I am doing here as
I'm communicating.
I appreciate that I'm in front of a camera right now whilst talking and you're experiencing me in front
of your screen which might be a TV screen or a computer screen or an iPod or an iPad or an iPhone or
something like that.
But I'm not just talking culture which is more on logger's I'm not just talking about new information
whilst you scribbling notes I'm communicating in a way that I'm assuming you're here in the room with
me in mind inside of my mind's eye.
I'm picturing you sitting there observing watching studying listening reflecting sway understand that
what I say and how I say what I say is going to determine whether you remain engaged in what I'm saying
or whether you don't.
Hence the reason at times I will ask questions.
I come involving you in the conversation in the dialogue in this communication that we're having.
I do my very very best when I teach online courses like this too.
Communicate in a dialogue fashion and not just regards to information.
Teaching year knowledge or involving you in a conversation with me through dialogue where I'll say some
staff.
Other times I may also offer you some silence.
To reflect.
On perhaps an important point that I've just made.
But then sometimes I'm just going to go on a real rant of passion filled rant like what I've done through
the core values section which is slightly different.
Bear in mind the very nature of this communication is different from one that you'd be having with a
client or a co-worker or a colleague or something like that.
So monologue and dialogue monologue is where one person is just solely focussed on being hammered.
They're just seeing what they want to say and that their main goal in the communication is to be heard
and acknowledged.
Dialogue is always going to be based upon respect mutual respect to people respect each other.
We're not tiptoeing on eggshells.
They're just fully aware of the other person who's involved in the interaction.
They're appreciating deference if you like they're appreciating that people all people have different
metaprogramming going on inside.
People have different minds and different places in life.
They have different approach preferences and they have different priorities.
Some people are naturally more introverted some people are naturally more extroverted and through appreciating
all of this dialogue as well.
Yeah I am communicating quite a bit right now.
And for those that know me well know that I guess sometimes I'm going to top quite a lot.
But one of them to do through years of extensive dialogue is whilst I'm talking and also listening I'm
also seeing I'm also observing I'm also paying full undivided attention to other people who are involved
in the conversation because if I say something especially in a group context if I was doing a workshop
or a coaching event or something like that which if you go in there they're like coaching you made it
very well go on to do at some point in the future too.
It's important that you pay attention to everyone in the room.
If you're just too busy talking at them then what you're not leaving any opportunity for is people to
ask questions.
What do you mean by that which is the difference between more organ dialogue.
What do you mean by that is the one question that if you're monologuing you're never going to give anyone
else the opportunity or the silence or the space of the time to ask which means that you're never going
to know whether all of the information you're presenting to them is falling on deaf ears or whether
it's being interpreted are fundamentally accepted.
So Life Coaching isn't about teaching it's not about advice giving.
It's not about being silent.
All of the time but it's about integrating appropriate silence are relevant times.
If you're communicating principles or ideas or frameworks that are relevant to the presenting problems
that they've offered to you which you've acknowledged through reflecting back and paraphrasing.
Whilst giving them an off silence and space and time.
To ask you questions what do you mean by that.
If there's anything that you've said that doesn't make complete sense to me.
The catch and what I'm doing in cool because this is the difference between monologue and dialogue and
what looks like a one way street where the individual is just looking to be heard.
And bear in mind there will be some clients or coming away who will just monologue you to death.
It's important but if you do find clients like this again what I find the hands up.
I come in peace approach.
Well whoa whoa sorry.
Can I just ask a few questions here.
You've been through a lot of information my way.
I picked up a few moments ago you mentioned.
Yes.
Could we just focus on blood flow so I can understand what you mean by that.
Looking at that one question right those six words down if you haven't already what do you mean by that.
Because this is what's going to help you to effectively engage in an active and fruitful dialogue with
pretty much anyone.
And so what does make sense.
Dialogue is the two way street cred to deport.
Kind of like dancing with each other.
Not so much dancing but the bouncing and reflecting off each other where monologues just one person
coming at check come in.
Come anouchka.
So don't do but do monologue dialogue.
I look forward to seeing you again in the next video.
Your homework is no incidentally.
To get yourself to Starbucks because I think work on around about seven or eight hours with a content
up until now.
I'm going to go for a Starbucks before I see the next video.
I'm going to strongly encourage you to go for a Starbucks two or acosta's or a cafe Neros or whatever
your preferences and practice everything that was discussed through this section with a complete stranger.
This is your homework exercise.
And the reason why this is totally relevant is because all the clients eventually come to you for life
coaching.
You're most likely not I know from Adam so get used to initiating meaningful dialogue conversations
offering silence reflecting back paraphrasing to complete strangers a promise he had and he can't hurt
anyone you can't break anyone and you can't get the stuff wrong.
If anything it's just going to help you to fine tune your skills was your communication skills and also
your relationship skills.
In view of moving forward building far healthier stronger and far more rewarding relationships.
Some of us make sense for a Starbucks saw you fall asleep again the next clap.